This is my answer to Jessica's call for Windsor list.

In alphabetical order (by title) — some may be questionable as romance to some really strict romance fans, but I think they are, so there! :p

Well, I've been stressing about my wedding to be held in less than three months, and a friend of mine sent a lovely email full of encouragement, which ended with the following remark and picture:

Nothing will dare go wrong. Everyone knows what's going to happen if the bride isn't happy on her wedding day.

On June 19, I bought a pink Samsung NC10 in the States. The unit had a manufacturer's sticker stating that it came with a 1 year international warranty. This is a big deal to me since I'm not usually in the States. If the unit hadn't come with the international warranty, I would not have bought it. (I would have bought a Toshiba netbook since Toshiba has a worldwide warranty, and I've used its service before.)

On October 6, the unit booted, but had a problem with the monitor. It'd sometimes go blank white during boot-up, so that I couldn't see the BIOS or Samsung logo. (This is a very bright white screen, not just going blank.) Also when I adjusted the angle of the monitor, the blank white screen would flicker. At some angles, the monitor remained completely white.

I researched the matter by googling and going to a couple of netbook forums, including sammynetbook.com, and saw that there were many other Samsung NC10 users with similar monitor issues. I decided that it was probably a hardware problem.

So on October 7 at 12:41 p.m. I called Samsung in America. I spoke with two different agents. We've checked VGA driver and firmware. I have the latest version, so we ruled out updated driver/firmware problem. The agent thought it was a hardware issue. He gave me a claim number, but told me that I cannot get my unit fixed until I returned to the States as the warranty is only good in the States.

I explained my situation (the manufacturer sticker promising international warranty, etc.), but the agent said he couldn't help me. He transferred me to another division. The new agent told me I needed to send her a picture of the sticker as a proof. I emailed one to her.

On October 8 at 9:20 a.m. Eastern Time, I called Samsung again as I hadn't heard any status update and I wanted to make sure the picture was delivered. I managed to get the same agent, who told me she'd received my picture and was able to see that the sticker indeed said 1 Year International Warranty. She told me she'd talk with her supervisor and let me know. I never heard back.

On October 9, I sent an email to the agent requesting a status update. She didn't respond.

On October 12 at 10:44 a.m. @SamsungService contacted me. I sent him a detailed email explaining the situation. He responded that NC10 comes with an international warranty and that I should contact Samsung Japan.

So on October 13 (now all date & time in JP), Hero Material called Samsung Japan for me since they do not speak English. They told him to call another number. The new number is for Samsung International Warranty Japan, and I called since they have three language options: English, Korean and Japanese. I chose English, and the service center automated menu said they were too busy to take my call. So I left my number as instructed. No call back. I was very very unhappy — ready to start #SamsungFail on Twitter because I was that upset. (It would've been satisfying, but I'd still be without a working netbook.)

Today I called again. I tried both the Korean and English lines, but they were all busy, so I left my number with both. An hour later, a Korean rep from Samsung HQ called. He was very pleasant, very professional and apologetic. He explained that their system can accept up to twelve digits for phone numbers. Mine is thirteen. So he was missing the last digit. So he tried to fill it in from 0 to 9. Unfortunately the last digit of my phone number is…yes, you guessed it: NINE.

He asked me what was wrong. I told him about the problems, and he said it was probably a defective cable. He said Samsung doesn't have a repair center in Japan, but they'll fix it at the Samsung Repair Center in Korea. He assured me that Samsung will arrange for pickup and delivery and that I don't need to pay for anything. Furthermore, he told me I don't even need to pack it myself. He said FedEx will take care of everything once I hand over my netbook. After taking my address and contact info, he said FedEx will call within two days.

Two hours later, FedEx Japan called to schedule pickup. I asked them to come after lunch, and they said they'll be pick my NC10 up between 1 p.m. and 2 p.m.

W00t!

Lesson learned: Bypass American call centers as much as possible if I need a defective unit serviced while overseas.

Things Samsung can improve on:

• Making sure that their American service reps know what kind of warranties their products have.
• Ensuring that their reps respond to customer requests on status updates.

Things Samsung did well:

• Contacting dissatisfied customers on Twitter to resolve the issue.
• Having great service reps in Korea. (If it weren't for the rep who went above and beyond the call of duty, I'd be launching an FUQ campaign against the company. As it is, I think I may use NINE as the title for a book at some point.)

Based on my experience, will I buy Samsung products again? Yes, as long as they're covered under international warranty.

I'll post an update to this once I get my netbook back from the Samsung Repair Center in Korea.

Once a month, a bunch of authors get together and post excerpts from published books, contracted work or works in progress, and link to each other. You don't have to be published to participate — just an writer with an excerpt you’d like to share. For more info on how to participate, head over to the Excerpt Monday site or click on the banner above.

Hello everyone,

Welcome to the second installment to the free serialized paranormal novella A Happily Ever After of Her Own! I've received some incredible feedback, and so many people have signed up for newsletter since last Monday. Thank you for your support!

If you're new to the story, please go to A Happily Ever After of Her Own: I. In Which Our Heroine Is Charged to read the first chapter before reading further.

Enjoy!

Melinda Lightfoot, a preschool teacher with an unusual ability to flit in and out of fairy tales, never thought she would get into trouble…

…until the Fairy Tale Police arrest her while she is in Beauty and the Beast. They offer her a deal: Find Beauty, who left the story when Melinda trespassed into it, or be charged with the ultimate crime — Fairy Tale Killer. If that's not bad enough the Beast tags along in search of his true love, and Melinda starts falling for the fairy tale prince. She must choose between doing the right thing and having her own happily ever after.

Warning: This title contains the following: Fairy Godmother, the Wicked Witch, dysfunctional fairy tale families, ax-wielding executioners and a happily ever after (or two).

II. In Which Our Heroine Gets an Unwelcome Companion

“I object,” the Beast said in his rumbling voice. A fierce scowl hung over his face like thunderclouds over a cliff. “That woman shouldn't be allowed to return to her world.”

Fairy Godmother frowned prettily. “Why so ever not?”

“If she goes alone, she has every reason to run away and never return.”

The two men nodded.

“Perhaps we can have her swear a vow,” Fairy Godmother said.

“Her words mean nothing,” the Beast growled. “She is not of this world. She faces no dire consequences for forsaking her vows.”

“Hey!” Melinda said. How dare he slander her in front of the Fairy Godmother! “I keep my promises! I'm not a liar.”

“Of course not, Miss Lightfoot. You are merely a trespasser, a killer, a terrorist and a vandal,” the prosecutor said blandly, making her choke with outrage. “Fairy Godmother, His Highness is correct. We cannot trust her. We must send someone to ensure she fulfills her duties.”

Fairy Godmother pursed her lips. “Who volunteers to accompany her then?”

The judge and the prosecutor exchanged glances. The Beast jerked a thumb at his chest. “I do.”

“Your Highness,” the prosecutor said in a stage whisper. “Are you sure?”

Before the Beast could answer, Melinda shook her head. “No, not him.” Everyone's gaze turned to her. “I can't go around in my world with some…werelion. It's going to draw too much attention. People will catch him and put in a cage or something.”

“A cage? On what charge?” The judge frowned. “Do you not have equal rights for all in your world?”

He's got some nerve talking about equal rights, after trampling all over mine. “For all humans.” Melinda looked at the Beast. “He's not.”

“This wretched curse doesn't make me non-human!”

“I'm sorry,” she said, using her reasonable voice again, “but you just don't look human. I won't be able to find Beauty and the Wicked Witch if you come with me.”

Fairy Godmother nodded. “She's right.”

The Beast's massive shoulders were hunched in frustration, and Melinda felt guilty again. This was the second time she'd caused him unhappiness, but she couldn't let him come with her. He would be an obstacle. But she could make it up to him by finding Beauty as soon as possible.

The Beast looked at Fairy Godmother grimly. “May we talk privately for a moment?”

“Of course.” She turned to the remaining three in the room. “Excuse us.”

*** *** ***

They went into the soundproof antechamber next to the meeting room. It was sparsely furnished, with walls covered by thick and dreadfully dull books, but the high glass ceiling made the place seem airy. Fairy Godmother sat in one of the chairs at a small circular table, and Edward shut the door and faced her. “Mother, why are you opposing me?”

“Was I, dear? I didn't realize.”

He prayed for patience. Mother could be so frustratingly dense at times. He was sure it was intentional…and people wondered why he had a temper. “Have I ever asked you for a favor?”

She frowned. “Not that I can recall.”

“That's right. Not when I was cursed—”

“Well, the curse. Perhaps you shouldn't have called her Auntie Beet.”

“It was the truth! And I was only nine!”

“Of course, dear.” Fairy Godmother made a vague gesture. “Do go on.”

“Stop humoring me. Why are you on her side? It's not as if you like her.”

“She is still my sister, and she is occasionally capable of being pleasant.”

“As pleasant as Charming,” he muttered.

She beamed. “Yes! Such a delightful boy.”

“You mean annoying.”

Fairy Godmother sighed. “Do get to the point, dear.”

“Of course. The point. The point, as you say, is that I have never asked you for favors, not even when Beauty's evil sisters sent murdering townspeople my way. I endured all the hardships, all the obstacles, in order to earn her love.”

“So you did. Quite admirable.”

“Thank you.” At least his mother was somewhat reasonable — for a woman — unlike his witchy aunt. “But surely you realize the current situation is untenable. This Lightfoot trespasser is untrustworthy, and I cannot put my fate in her hands. Without Beauty I can never regain my human form, and Aunt will triumph.”

“I understand, but Miss Lightfoot has a valid objection. Her world is not like ours. It has lost much of its magic. Most people there don't even believe that happy endings are possible.”

Edward stiffened with shock. “Blasphemy! How can people not believe in happy endings?”

“Well, that would be your aunt's influence.” She sighed. “This is why I cannot risk a failure. If she wins, the fairy tales will be no more, and all the happily-ever-afters will vanish. Miss Lightfoot must succeed, and I'm afraid your presence will hinder her.”

“You are the most powerful fairy in our world. Surely there's something you can do so that I can go.”

“The curse isn't something I can undo,” she said primly. “You know what's in the Seventeenth Neverland Magical Accord as well as I do.”

He wanted to hit something. Better yet, someone. Even better yet, his aunt. “I'll sacrifice anything to go. Please.”

The silence stretched. Edward didn't dare say a word, lest he prejudice his mother against his cause.

Finally she said, “Are you sure?” She held up a finger. “Once done, it cannot be undone, you know.”

He nodded. He had to break free from the curse. He couldn't let his aunt win. And he certainly wasn't going to allow the clumsy Lightfoot to destroy his only chance.

“Very well, then.” His mother rose. “We shall do it your way.”

*** *** ***

Melinda waited for Fairy Godmother and the Beast to return from their little timeout. The judge and prosecutor sat down and didn't have the courtesy to offer her a seat. She didn't bother asking; the chairs looked really uncomfortable. The men whispered furiously, hands held in front of their mouths like schoolgirls, and occasionally they would either nod or shake their heads so vigorously that the judge's powered wig almost fell off.

The door opened, and Fairy Godmother and the Beast reentered the chamber. The men jumped to their feet.

“I have made my decision,” Fairy Godmother announced. “Miss Lightfoot, His Highness the Beast has the right to accompany you, as Beauty is his key to victory over the Evil Witch. Thus, I will allow him to go.”

Melinda groaned with dismay.

“However, your concern too is valid, and it will be in no one's interests if his appearance is a burden. Therefore, I will put a spell on him to restore his true form for three days. Both of you must work together to bring Beauty and the Evil Witch back to us before the magic wears off.” Fairy Godmother turned to the Beast. “There is a caveat to my aid. You cannot allow Beauty to see your true form while you are in Miss Lightfoot's world. If she does, the Evil Witch can change the conditions required to break her curse.”

The Beast's voice grumbled, “I understand.”

“Further note that if you fail to bring Beauty and the Evil Witch back in three days, the division between our worlds will grow weak against the magic beacon the Evil Witch set when she left the Fairy Tale World. Once the beacon is firmly established, she will be able to flit in and out of your world, Miss Lightfoot, and will undoubtedly use her formidable magic to bring misery upon everyone. Nor will I be able to stop her, since the people of your world believe in tragic endings more readily than happy ones, and I will not be able to enter your world at will.”

This was getting worse and worse. Not only was she going to cause misery in the Fairy Tale World, she was going to bring the chief creator of all heartaches and troubles to hers. How was she going to live it down if the Evil Witch cursed her friends, coworkers, neighbors and students? Life was already difficult enough; people didn't need more complications and curses.

And what about herself?

Melinda had always imagined that there was a Prince Charming out there for her, even though they hadn't met yet. With the Evil Witch running around free, the probability of her own happily ever after was nil. The Evil Witch didn't seem like the grateful type.

“Miss Lightfoot, I have also decided to give you a bit of magical help in your quest.” Fairy Godmother gestured at Melinda's watch, and stardust shimmered briefly across the gap. “Your time device will tell you where the Evil Witch is so long as the sun is up. The Evil Witch is exceptionally powerful in your world, and I'm afraid my magic simply isn't strong enough to help you during the night, when my influence is at its weakest. When you're ready to return with His Highness the Beast, Beauty and the Evil Witch, make sure to be in the same room with them. Then tap the time device three times and say ‘Happily ever after'. Understood?”

Melinda nodded.

“Now, Miss Lightfoot, you must promise to bring Beauty and the Evil Witch to our world within three days.”

Melinda mounted a stand next to the prosecutor and raised her hand. “I swear to bring Beauty and the Evil Witch to your world within three days.”

“Very well.” Fairy Godmother nodded. “I wish you luck.”

All the air left Melinda's lungs, suffocating her, and darkness swarm over her vision. She felt her legs crumble beneath her.

The last thing Melinda saw was Fairy Godmother's gentle smile as everything went black.

*** *** ***

Melinda gasped and blinked, trying to focus on a white blankness far from her. After a moment she realized the whiteness was actually a ceiling. The bedside lamps glowed soft gold, and she was…she felt the soft sheets under her palms and noticed the half-read Beauty and the Beast storybook lying face-down on the bedside table. The clock said 10:00 p.m. Right about the time she'd fallen asleep and entered the fairy tale. Oh thank God! She was finally awake from her nightmare! No more strange critters calling her Fairy Tale Killer. No more twitchy porcupines trying to intimidate her with swagger sticks. And no more barren cell without lights or running water.

“What a creepy dream,” she muttered.

“That was no dream, Clumsyfoot!”

She yelped and jackknifed up at the low baritone voice. Despite its aggrieved tone, it held a delicious chocolate heat that cut through her surprise and sent shivers all the way down to her toes. She glanced up and saw the most arresting man she'd ever beheld. He was tall, at least six-foot-six, and a wild mane of hair cascaded down his back like golden silk. A simple pale green shirt hung from his massive shoulders, intensifying the emerald of his eyes. Too bad he sported a nasty I-would-kill-you-if-I-could scowl. Otherwise he could've been the exact image of the Prince Charming she'd held in her mind for so long.

“Who are you?” she squeaked.

“Edward.”

“Edward who?”

“Doesn't anybody remember my real name?” His eyes glowed with annoyance. “The Beast. You already forgot about your vow to Fairy Godmother, didn't you?” When she stared at him mutely, he struck his open palm with a fist. “I knew it!”

She rubbed her eyes and looked again. He didn't disappear. She was glad she wasn't standing up, because her knees would probably have given way. “It wasn't a dream?”

“Oh no.” He bared his straight white teeth in something that might've passed for a smile if he'd actually tried to look friendly. “This is very real, and I'm not going anywhere until you help me find Beauty and my dear aunt.”

“Your aunt?”

“Didn't you know? The Evil Witch is my aunt.”

“No wonder you're so charming.”

Edward made a face. “Good Lord no. Don't confuse me with Charming.”

“Huh?”

“He's my annoying twin.”

A mild headache began knocking inside Melinda's temples. “Identical?”

“Technically. But of course I'm the more handsome.”

It was just her luck. All the good-looking men she met were either married, gay or in touch with their inner Narcissus. She wanted to bang her head into her pillows — never against the wall because it would hurt too much. “What a huge mistake.”

“Indeed. You should've stayed in your world, so my aunt couldn't have escaped. Your inconsiderate and foolhardy actions have caused all of us many problems.”

“Not that.” She glared at him. “I should never have complained about your looks. Then you would've stayed a Beast.”

The third chapter is coming on Monday October 19. Please note that it is only available to my newsletter subscriber. If you'd like to know what happens to Melinda and the Beast, please sign up by using the form below or going to the subscribe page. It's absolutely free and you can unsubscribe at any time. Thanks!

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After years of talking about it on my blog, I've decided to post some pictures of the place. (I went there today to gorge myself…! :mrgreen: )

The place is up on a big mountain in Yamaguchi Prefecture, and it has its own altar. It also has a nice shrine and several stone statues of Buddha, although I have no idea why the small ones wear red hats and bibs.

When I first saw it, I thought maybe it was a baby Buddha and needed some extra…er…help to keep clean or something. Occasionally you see one yen or five yen coin offerings around the mini-Buddhas, but this time I didn't see any. Must be the recession.

This is a water outlet near the Shrine of Vending Machines. It has a huge Buddha surrounded by baby Buddhas wearing red bibs. Again, I'm not sure why the big one isn't wearing a red bib except that maybe it's because he's their father and thus needs to look dignified…? There are three spotlights around him as well, so that he can be lit at night. I've never been up at the Mountain Bandit Shack past four PM, so I have no idea if people worship him or pray to him or anything like that. I'm sure people do pray for good luck at the shrine though (the real one, not the one of Vending Machines).

Now, this is just a thing of awesomeness: the Shrine of Vending Machines. It's a little hard to see, but it's there in the background under the roof. Ever seen one anywhere else? No? Me either. It's near the parking lot, with seven separate vending machines that sell everything from Coke to cold chocolate to hot chocolate to ice cream. One thing it doesn't have is a beer vending machine. Not that the Mountain Bandit Shack doesn't have one of those, too — it does — but it's far from the Buddhas and the shrines. Maybe to show some respect?

Not that you have to go that far. Respect or no, the place has a beer vending machine. How can any hot spot in Japan be complete without one? Beer vending machines are everywhere you want them to be, except maybe at some somber war memorial or something.

And here's me looking around for a table. Guests get to sit wherever they want, so it's important to find a good spot — not too sunny but not too chilly. I look serious in the picture because it's a serious business. And the picture on the right is me wondering, “Is that ours?” every time a waitress walked by with food.

This is our waitress, doing double-duty at the gift stand. (Check out her uniform. Everyone there wears that funky head thing and a black shirt & pants.)

Finally, we get fed! Just look at all the food! My favorite steamed fried rice with veggies and meat and so on, my favorite saucy chicken on a stick and my favorite gyoza! Everything at the Mountain Bandit Shack is extra delicious.

Nom nom nom.

Oh…and we had a visitor. I think he was hoping for some scraps, but alas, there was nothing left for him.

Gomen ne, neko-chan!

So here's what you've been waiting for…!

Melinda Lightfoot, a preschool teacher with an unusual ability to flit in and out of fairy tales, never thought she would get into trouble…

…until the Fairy Tale Police arrest her while she is in Beauty and the Beast. They offer her a deal: Find Beauty, who left the story when Melinda trespassed into it, or be charged with the ultimate crime — Fairy Tale Killer. If that's not bad enough the Beast tags along in search of his true love, and Melinda starts falling for the fairy tale prince. She must choose between doing the right thing and having her own happily ever after.

Warning: This title contains the following: Fairy Godmother, the Wicked Witch, dysfunctional fairy tale families, ax-wielding executioners and a happily ever after (or two).

I. In Which Our Heroine Is Charged

Once upon a time there was a woman who could flit in and out of fairy tales…

*** *** ***

“Prisoner Number One Thousand Five Hundred and Sixty-Two.”

Somebody shoved Melinda at the bailiff's call, and she stumbled forward into the spotlight in the center of the dimly lit room. She glared at whoever was behind her, then quickly turned her attention to her surroundings. Everyone's gaze zeroed in on her, making her feel like a bear on a circus stage. Maybe I should sing and dance, she thought sourly. Or just growl and look scary, so they'll let me go.

A small old man in a black robe leaned forward in a high seat behind a wooden podium and peered at her over his half-moon glasses. She thought he should fix the wig sitting crooked on his head, but decided not to say anything that might prejudice him against her. Besides who was she to critique his appearance? She was in the pink Little Mermaid pajamas her niece had given her for Christmas, for gosh sakes.

“Is this the right prisoner?” the judge said.

“Yes, Your Honor,” a smartly dressed police porcupine said from the witness stand. “We caught her red-handed in Beauty and the Beast.”

“What was she doing?”

“Hiding behind the red rose bushes in the main entrance to the castle and spying on Beauty's father and His Highness the Beast,” the porcupine answered, quills quivering.

“How dreadful. How did you become aware of her alien presence in the story, sergeant?”

“She tripped and fell.”

Melinda heard low snickers from everyone around her and felt her face turn red. The judge merely tsked and rifled through a stack of papers in front of him. “Charge?”

The prosecutor unfolded six feet seven inches of emaciation, his pale narrow face pinched with disapproval. The light glared on his greased black hair as he said, “Misdemeanor: trespassing.”

Melinda raised her hand. “Hold on a minute.”

The judge went on like she hadn't spoken, “How do you plead?”

“I want a lawyer.”

“That is not the right response,” the judge said sternly. “You plead either guilty or not guilty.”

“I have rights.”

“You do not. This is under Fairy Tale Jurisdiction.”

“Look, Your Honor,” she said, using her most reasonable and no-nonsense tone of voice, the one that never failed to work with the young students in her class. “I didn't mean to cause any trouble. You'll probably think it sounds crazy or something, but I've been able to enter fairy tales just by reading them and imagining what the story world was like ever since I was a small girl. I have no idea how. My friends can't do it—”

“Perhaps because they are too polite to trespass, Miss…?”

“Lightfoot, Your Honor. Melinda Lightfoot. But—”

“Miss Melinda Lightfoot of…?” When she just stared at him, he said, “Town name for the record?”

“Oh. Bolinsville. Bolinsville, Virginia, U.S.A. As I was saying—”

The judge held up a hand to stop her as the bailiff rose to his feet.

“His Highness, the Beast!”

The crowd of shepherds and fairy tale critters, including a crowned frog, oohed and aahed as the double doors to the courtroom were flung open, and the Beast marched toward the spotlight…toward Melinda. His magnificent golden mane moved with each step, a royal purple cape billowing behind him. He didn't have his claws out, but there was an electrifying presence to him that made her mouth dry. A small hope bloomed inside Melinda. He had to be here to tell the judge how mistaken he was to charge her, how she hadn't done anything wrong and how she was a lover of fairy tales. The hope withered just as quickly as it had blossomed when she saw the expression in the Beast's narrowed green eyes. She gulped.

“Your Highness, this is rather out of protocol,” the judge said mildly, while the court waited with bated breath for what the cursed prince had to say. “You needn't trouble yourself like this. We have enough witnesses—”

“I am here to demand that you charge her with kidnapping!” the Beast roared, pointing at Melinda.

Melinda's couldn't believe her ears. “What?!”

Her rather pathetic response was lost in the crowd's speculative whispers. The judge banged his gavel. “Silence!” When the courtroom was in order again, he looked at the Beast. “Why kidnapping, Your Highness?”

“Beauty is gone!”

A collective gasp rose from the gallery. The judge gave them a stern look.

The Beast continued, “Her father has not seen her. I have not seen her. She is nowhere to be found. Yet she was in the story until” — he extended a long curving claw at Melinda — “that woman appeared. Now I will never have my happy ending.”

Another gasp rose from the gallery. A crown crashed to the floor with a loud clang as the frog under it fainted dead away, and he wasn't the only cursed prince to do so. The judge looked pale. “Are you sure Beauty is gone, Your Highness?”

“Yes! Can you not feel her lack in the very air around us?”

The prosecutor cleared his throat. “Your Honor, this isn't just a matter of simple trespassing or kidnapping.” He stared at Melinda like she were Snow White's stepmother. “She's a Fairy Tale Killer.”

*** *** ***

The court recessed, and the police porcupines dragged Melinda roughly away, swagger sticks in their hands. One of them said, “If you so much as twitch we'll beat you.”

Maybe she had another strange ability she hadn't known about until now: entering fairy nightmares. Except that unlike regular fairy tales, she couldn't leave this one at will. She didn't know what the porcupines had done to her — she was sure it was something nefarious during the chaos of her arrest, some sort of porcupine brutality no doubt — but she could no longer just imagine herself back in her room and return to her world. The entire situation wasn't just insane, it was inane. The prosecution's evidence was circumstantial at best, and the court was trampling all over her rights. She deserved a lawyer if they were planning to charge her not only with trespassing, but kidnapping and…and murder as well. Fairy Tale Killer had an ominous tone to it.

The police put her in a small bare cell. Who would've thought the Fairy Tale Government didn't care about human rights? Melinda felt her shoulders slump. At least it was summer, so nobody was expecting her at her school. Otherwise she would be frantic by now. She was punctual and loved her students; missing class without calling in so the school could find a suitable substitute was simply unimaginable.

Then again, even if she could have called, what would she have told them?

I'm in Fairy Tale Jail for trespassing, kidnapping Beauty from Beauty and the Beast and ruining a perfectly good happy ending.

Melinda glanced at a tiny window high up on the wall, fingering her recently cut shoulder-length auburn hair forlornly. Maybe there was a good reason for fairy tale princesses to have long flowing tresses.

She pressed a button on her watch. It glowed: 10:00 p.m. That was the time she'd entered Beauty and the Beast. The display seemed to be stuck, just like she was. She sighed with regret and a bit of guilt. In addition to ruining her summer, her little adventure had also brought a very obvious distress to the Beast.

Now I will never have my happy ending.

Melinda felt sorry for the Beast. Without Beauty's love he'd remain cursed for eternity.

A police officer opened the door to her cell. “Out. The prosecutor wants to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

What a helpful porcupine. She got up and walked out of her cell. He hadn't come alone. A platoon of swagger-stick-and-shield-carrying police porcupines surrounded her. Their nervous energy was giving her a headache, and she raised a hand to her temple. They immediately leapt back, quills bristling and shields raised. She rolled her eyes. What could a preschool teacher do besides give them a timeout?

They went through a bright corridor of polished green marble. The air felt comfortably cool and dry and smelled of old paper. It reminded her of the happy times she'd spent in bookstores and libraries, and helped take the edge off her worry. If the judge had decided to declare it all just a big misunderstanding, or even just pardon her, he wouldn't have sent such a bristly bunch.

“Stop!” one of her escorts said when she reached a heavy wooden double door. He scurried around and pushed it open with a paw, his shield between her and whatever was inside. “Don't even think about it,” he said suspiciously.

“All I'm thinking about is how much I want to get out of here and have some chocolate,” she mumbled under her breath.

He jerked his chin. “Go in. Slowly.”

She stepped inside. Slowly. As annoyed as she was with them, she didn't want to disobey and get pummeled with swagger sticks. Fairy Tale or not, it would hurt.

A long dark cherry table occupied the center of the huge room, and uncomfortable looking high-backed black chairs surrounded it like crows around some oversized carcass. The judge sat at the head of the table with the Beast on his right and the prosecutor on his left. A triumvirate of doom.

“I heard you wanted to see me.”

“You heard correctly, Miss Heavyfoot,” the judge said.

She forced a smile. “Lightfoot.”

“If you had been a true Lightfoot, we wouldn't have caught you,” the prosecutor said, looking at her feet meaningfully.

Everyone else followed suit, and she wanted to drop and hide her hideously filthy bare feet. Instead, she straightened her spine and adopted her sternest preschool teacher voice. “You have no real evidence against me. All you have to do is let me go back to my own apartment, and everything will be fine.”

“Oh, we'd love to get rid of you, Miss Heavy — er — Lightfoot. However, there's the matter of Beauty,” the judge said. “You cannot return to the mortal world until she comes back.”

“What?”

“The balance in our world was altered when you so carelessly snatched Beauty out of her story, so until she is here, you cannot leave.”

“What?!” So was that why she couldn't just imagine herself home? “But—”

“Besides, His Highness the Beast needs his happy ending. All fairy tales do.”

“But—”

“How can a fairy tale exist without a happy ending? Would Hansel and Gretel be the same if the witch ate them both? What if Prince Charming married one of Cinderella's stepsisters?” He looked around for support. Both the Beast and the prosecutor nodded gravely.

“What you did — taking Beauty away — broke the unbreakable. It allows for a dastardly tragic ending now.”

“Oh God,” Melinda said weakly, feeling the blood drain from her face. She loved reading fairy tales to her students, and they loved the uplifting endings. How would they feel if the witch had roasted children for dinner? Or Cinderella had to clean the hearth till the day she died?

Worst of all, how was she going to bear it, knowing it was she who made such horrific outcomes possible?

“So what you did is technically an act of murder.”

“Yes, but we can also charge her with” — the prosecutor cleared his throat — “high treason, terrorism and vandalism.”

Vandalism?

The prosecutor continued: “The minimum sentencing requirement for all four crimes is two thousand seven hundred and twenty-three years in maximum security prison without the possibility of parole.”

“You want me to die in prison?”

He took off his glasses and began cleaning the lenses with a white handkerchief. “My dear Miss Lightfoot. The decision to die is entirely up to you. We merely imprison.”

“I don't know about you Fairy Tale people, but I can't stay here for God only knows how long. We should do something instead of just waiting for Beauty to return.”

The prosecutor looked amused. She turned to the judge, but he shook his head. It was the Beast who finally said, “She's right.”

“Your Highness!” both of the men exclaimed.

“I cannot wait. No one knows how long it will take Beauty to find her way back to her story. What if she's forever lost?”

The men were beginning to look a bit green. “The possibility of that happening is—”

“Quite high!”

Everyone turned at the commanding soprano voice coming from the door, and the three at the table jumped to their feet. “Fairy Godmother!”

Melinda had never seen the legendary Fairy Godmother in all the years she'd flitted in and out of fairy tales, and she'd imagined the elusive sprite to be a personable matronly woman. She'd never think that after tonight.

A tall regal woman in a diamond-studded white dress strode inside. A dainty tiara rested on her head, and her unbound platinum hair curled around the small of her back. She stopped when she reached Melinda and faced the three men at the table. “We have found Beauty.”

Melinda slumped with relief. She wasn't a Fairy Tale Killer.

“She's in Miss Lightfoot's world.”

All four said, “She is?”

“And the Evil Witch is missing as well.”

Two gasps and a growl came from the table.

“With your permission, Your Honor, I should like to present some facts for the court's official consideration.”

The judge bowed gravely and made a flowing motion with his hand.

“Thank you. Now then… All the evidence the police gathered points to some rather disturbing conclusions. Firstly, in order for Miss Lightfoot here to have come into this world, we may assume that she has the ability to create a sort of bridge between our world and hers. Secondly, we may further assume that the Evil Witch became aware of this bridge, or melding, at some point during Miss Lightfoot's travels, and that she observed the phenomenon for some time. Thirdly, that she kidnapped Beauty and left our world either when Miss Lightfoot entered Beauty and the Beast, or at some point during her presence here. Finally — and this is not a conclusion based on supposition, but something that I myself have sensed in the past little while — she has established a magical beacon so that when the time is right she can control the path between the worlds.

“So I believe that our course is clear,” Fairy Godmother continued. “We must task Miss Lightfoot with locating and bringing back both Beauty and the Evil Witch.”

“Which Evil Witch is this?” Melinda asked. Her stomach felt queasy. She was okay with the finding Beauty part, but not too sure about the Evil Witch.

“The one who cursed the Beast. The one who taught the forest hag how to trick Hansel and Gretel. The one who longs to destroy all happy endings.”

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