I happened to see a hilarious post by The Rejectionist:

FOR GOD'S SAKE PEOPLE IF YOU WERE SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS OLD AND REALLY GOOD-LOOKING AND HAD SUPERPOWERS AND A BAZILLION DOLLARS WOULD YOU REALLY BE FARTING AROUND HIGH SCHOOLS AND WASTING YOUR TIME IN ALGEBRA II NO YOU WOULD NOT. YOU WOULDN'T. SO PLEASE WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE NOW. JUST DO IT FOR THE FUCKING ASSISTANT, OKAY? THINK OF IT AS COMMUNITY SERVICE.

Her frustration is palpable. And why not? How many times do you need to take high school-level algebra before you really get it?

Eight things my awesome 700 year-old vampire would do

1. Secretly lead a vampire worshipping cult.
2. Eradicate vampire hunters.
3. Have a harem of hot chicks, who he all loves equally.
4. Own Wall Street. Make Goldman Sachs look positively angelic and amateurish by comparison.
5. Own the media.
6. Own the Internet.
7. Control the world's superpower governments and politicians.
8. Rule the universe with an iron fist.

What would your awesome 700 year-old vampire do?